


Love is a Fire

by HappyDagger



Series: Requests [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Cancer, Death, Don't Read This, Illness, M/M, Pain, Power Imbalance, Ramsay has a heart, Suffering, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-19 21:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7378669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyDagger/pseuds/HappyDagger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LeslieLili asked for a fic where Reek gets really sick.</p><p>Please check the tags and proceed with care. ♡</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take Me Out Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leslielili28](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leslielili28/gifts).



Theon knew he was taking too long because Ramsay kept pacing down the hallway and around the dining room. He rubbed the back of his neck and huffed.

After flushing the toilet he gingerly opened the bathroom door and slipped out.

Ramsay was waiting. His fingers tapped against his shoulder impatiently. “I guess you don’t want to watch the fucking movie.”

“What? Yeah, I do.”

“Then you’re just _avoiding_ me.”

Theon smiled his shy guilty little smile.

Ramsay was about to smack it off his narrow manipulative face when Reek wrapped his thin arms around Ramsay’s chest. He always knew what to do now, it was infuriating.

 

Ramsay clicked his fingers when Reek stayed standing.

“Don’t you want a drink first?”

 _Oh yeah_. “Hurry up. You can lay under my feet if you can’t stay fucking still.” He could barely pay attention to the gorgeous scene in front of him. He could never make a crime scene that clean and artistic. These shows don’t take into account how quickly you have to get out. Still, it was nice to watch. A stupid fantasy. “You have to see what he did to that bitch, Reek.”

Reek brought him his drink and barely groaned from the back of his throat.

“Baby.” 

"I'm not a baby," Reek protested softly.

The drink was good. “C _ome **here**_.” Ramsay yanked Reek down onto the couch and smacked his ass a few times. “ _Stay_.” Reek squirmed against him and rubbed his crooked nose under Ramsay’s chin. “No. No playtime for you.”

Reek hummed a little like he could get away with this shit.

“Bad boy,” Ramsay growled, smiling but Reek couldn’t see. “Watch the movie.”

“It’s a show.”

“Shut your fucking face, brat. Oh-ho shit! Look at THAT, Reek!”

“Ugh.” He fought Ramsay to roll back into his chest, away from the screen.

“Don’t hide!” Ramsay laughed. He started tickling, pinching and smacking his stupid giggling boy. “Look! Look! Ohhhh! That’s his fucking brain, Reek!” He made slurping sounds and gnawed at Reek’s skull.

Reek giggled and whined until he gasped and shot up suddenly. “Shit!” His face was completely pale as though he’d broken some major rule. Only Reek didn’t do that anymore. At least, he hadn’t in so long it was hard to imagine. They were too old and settled now.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He tried to flee again. He looked sick. He was about to cry. It was so fucking confusing.

“ ** _Stop. Running. Away._** ” Ramsay grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled him back. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I have to… please, I’m sorry! I have to… I want to put my pajamas on.”

“What the fuck are you babbling about? Why are you crying?”

“I’m not!”

“You’re shaking.” Ramsay sat up on the couch and tightened his grip as Reek flailed about. “Why are you panicking?” He was blushing terribly now and the ice hot rage boiling up in Ramsay’s chest slowly began to cool. That’s when he finally saw it. “Oh, baby!” He started laughing so hard that Reek was able to slip away. “Reek! Was it _that_ scary?”

The bedroom door slammed.

“Reek!” Ramsay tried to sound stern but it was hard when he kept laughing. He twisted around to pop his back then groaned and hopped off the couch.

 

“Hey.”

Reek was naked, sniffling and shoving his clothes in the hamper.

“Puppy…”

“Don’t make fun of me. I’m sorry. I have to… I need a shower, please.” He stood holding the hamper looking around indecisively.

“No. Why are you crying?”

Reek shook his head. “We should have locks on the doors.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not crying. I have to-” he dropped before he could finish and rolled on the carpet, holding his face.

“ **There** . _Now_ you’re crying.”

 

He was. He couldn’t stop and curled up trying to hide. “I’m sorry.”

Ramsay smiled and knelt down. “Shh. You didn’t get it on me, baby.”

“I’m scared,” Theon whispered just before his wrists were pinned to the floor.

“Yeah!” Ramsay laughed and sat on his hips. “Apparently. Give me a kiss, you little pussy.”

Ramsay didn’t understand. “I’m _scared._ Take me out. For a drive? Please?"


	2. I Am Small

When Ramsay came home a week later the house didn’t smell like dinner or sound like cooking. There was no Reek waiting for him, even after he took off his own jacket.

“What the fuck?” _He’s gone. He fucking left. He’s gone. He finally left. He fucking left me!_

 

“Hey!” The bedroom doorknob smashed into an old hole in the wall. “What in the fucking _fuck_!”

“What?” Reek jumped up to sitting. “What happened?”

“WHY is your bitch ass in bed?”

“I…” he crawled back against the headboard and pulled his knees to his chest. His eyes crawled along the bed down to the floor then Reek's curly head dropped under guilt.

“What did you do?” Ramsay’s panic warmed into anger. He unbuckled his belt.

“Ramsay, no, please. It’s not like that.”

“Bullshit! The longer you stall the more you’re hiding, the worse it is. Tell me what you did.”

“I didn’t _do_ anything. Look, sit down, please. Please?” Ramsay had to know something was different this time, that something was really wrong because he started spiralling. Theon saw the change before the leather even zipped through the belt loops. “Wait! Just wait a _second!”_

“WHAT did you do?” Ramsay was screaming now. The belt smacked against Theon’s skin but made a thud when it hit the wall. “Did you leave this house? Did you talk to somebody?! Did you FUCK someone?!”

“THERE WAS BLOOD!” The blows stopped but Theon kept his face covered. “In my piss. There’s blood in my piss.”

“I didn’t punch your kidneys. I haven’t for-”

“No, Ramsay… _fuck._ I… I should see a doctor. I’m trying to tell you I have to see a doctor. I’ve been trying to tell you, but…” But a lot of things. He felt guilty and thought he was probably being a dramatic hypochondriac. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between what Theon really thought and what he could hear Ramsay telling him.

“Shit.” Ramsay dropped the belt and sank back onto his ass. They both knew this relationship was something Ramsay had to hide.

Theon didn’t want to go outside either. He didn’t want to answer questions or be looked at by strangers. Ramsay would get angry, and for the past few decades, that’s been the single biggest consideration behind every decision Theon has made. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to say… would you… I need you to stay by me, please? I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” Ramsay curled around his Reek and wrapped his arms around his pointy ribs. “It's just kidney stones, idiot.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll take you, puppy. I can afford the best fucking doctors. Aren’t you lucky?” He could see Reek’s cheek rise with a smile and felt him relax. “You owe me dinner. Where do you want to go?”

“Really? Go? For a ride?” Reek sat up a little too fast but crawled onto Ramsay and put his chin on Ramsay’s chest. “Like… to get pizza?”

Ramsay snorted and pet his hair. “Yeah. I’ll call. We can drive around and pick it up.”

“Yes!” Reek scrambled to rush off the bed but Ramsay grabbed his collar.

“Hey! Uh-uh. No shower. No shoes. You didn’t,” Reek sank back and rubbed his nose into the crotch of his navy wool trousers, “take off my shoes…”

“I’m sorry.” He started kissing up to Ramsay’s fly. Reek bit the zipper and pulled it down with his teeth.

“Or hang my jacket, or take my bag, or get me a drink.” He used his ankles to squeeze Reek closer by his thin thighs. He stretched out to grab his phone and dialed Moios. “You pissed me off.” Ramsay’s head sank back a little. _You scared the shit out of me._

 

***

“Wow, look at this shit. People magazine from 1993.”

“Heh.” Theon pushed closer into Ramsay’s side. Some kind of People’s Court knock off was playing on the television in the corner of the waiting room, but he couldn’t understand a word of it.

“Here you go! Fucking Highlights, Reek! Why don’t you learn about Goofus and Gallant?”

Theon scanned the room quickly. No one seemed to hear or notice the name.

“I’m SO glad we got here fifteen minutes early-”

“I know, but-”

“-so we could wait 45 fucking minutes instead of half an hour!”

“-they said to… I mean, if I lost my appointment… I don’t want to do this again.”

“Yeah.” Ramsay tossed his magazine back into the pile and laid his arm across the back of Theon’s chair and sighed dramatically.

A larger woman rolled back from one side to another in quiet dismay. She made a production of clearing her throat then coughed into her fist.

“What?” Ramsay leaned forward in the boxy god damned cheapass tacky chair. He put his arm around Reek’s neck and stared her down, smiling.

The woman slowly pulled a gossip magazine up to hide her face.

“Bitch.”

“ _Ramsay_ ,” Theon whispered, pleading. This was already too much. “No, I want to go home. Please?”

“Mr. Greyjoy?”

“Finally!” Ramsay jumped up and dropped the papers he’d filled out onto the PA’s clipboard. He snapped for Reek to follow.

 

“Well, your blood pressure’s great. You are a little underweight, though.”

Ramsay grinned as the velcro ripped off Theon's arm. “Well you’re fucking overweight, but I’m not bitching about it.”

“Ramsay, _please_! I’m already nervous. Just… be nice. Please?” The Physician’s Assistant made another note on her clipboard and Theon knew she knew and they’d probably  look for scars. They can’t call the police, can they? They probably could if they see his back. No. No one can prove anything.

“The doctor will be in shortly.”

 

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Ramsay scoffed and hacked out a bitter laugh.

“You don’t know how your father died?” she repeated delicately.

Theon shook his head. “He disappeared. When his body was found…” Theon shrugged.

“Well, try contacting your sister. Some family history could help a lot.”

“Pfft, good luck with that. It’s not cirrhosis of the liver anyway, so what does it matter what some fucktwats on barren rocks are dying of?”

“Mr… eh?” The doctor scrolled through the files on her tablet.

“Bolton,” Theon muttered.

“That's right, Bolton. _I'm_ the one paying for everything.”

“Could you give us some privacy? This is a sensitive part of the-”

“I’ve shoved more up his ass then a gloved finger.”

“Oh my god.” Theon buried his face in his hands.

“Oh. Ooohh, I see. Well…”

“It’s fine. I want him here.” Theon looked up and smiled helplessly, rolling his eyes. The doctor laughed and his stomach sank because that would cost him later.

 

Ramsay seemed to forget how to start the car for a moment. He pursed his mouth and blinked a few times. He gave his head a quick shake. The car roared into humming and he peeled out, spiraling down through the parking garage.

Theon stared out the window.

“It’s just a test.”

 _"Tests,"_ Theon corrected."Needles, vials, humming machines, little tunnels, and huge magnets. God. No, I know what you mean.” Theon tried to smile. His mouth was so dry. “She put a rush on them, though, huh? Did you see her face?”

Of course, he did. “Hey, since you’re dressed up and shit pretending to be a person and everything, do you want to see a movie?”

Reek sat up. “Really?” He grinned _for real_ now, not like that shit-eating apology he offered that fucking big-nosed skanky ass excuse for a 'doctor'.

“Yeah. A movie’s a long time to sit, right?”

Reek blushed and looked at his hands. His long thumbs crossed one over another.

“It’s gonna _feel_ like a long time.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Reek suddenly yelped and started giggling and thrashing against the seat and car door while Ramsay tickled his and twisted his nipple through his thin cotton shirt.

“What did you say? What did you mean to say? Huh? Reek? You fucking slut!”

“Wha-waaa- WATCH THE ROAD!”

“Huh? Like this?” Ramsay swerved into oncoming traffic and back out.

Theon covered his eyes and launched into poetry about the beauty of Ramsay’s hair and the wonders of his magnificent dick.

They made it to the theatre alive and Ramsay felt happier every time Reek shifted and whined during the film.


	3. My Only Friend

“So…” Ramsay finally grumbled, “I don’t understand. What are our options?”

“Well,” the doctor folded her hands and swallowed, “there are basically two at this point.”

 

“Sign the paper paper, baby.”

“Ramsay,” Theon couldn’t stop shaking his head. He couldn’t stop choking on the cold air in his throat. “I _can’t_.”

“You said that you would try for me,” Ramsay soothed him and rubbed his back. “Come on, sweetheart. Just a few more pages to go.”

“Please, _I don’t want to_.” A tear dropped onto the paperwork.

Ramsay took a tissue from the box the specialist gave them and wiped it off. He dabbed Reek’s cheek. “Puppy, you know I’m not really asking, don’t you?”

“Please, Ramsay, no. No, no…”

“You want to go home and have a bad fight and _then_ come back and sign the papers? Hmm? Is that what you want? Or are you going to try to be brave for me?”

“But… I don’t want to live like-”

Ramsay’s gentle caresses ceased and his face darkened. “You don’t _what_? You don’t want to live?”

“No, I mean…”

“You’d rather _die_? Is that it? _You don’t even_ fucking _use it,_ ” he snapped. “They can do it, or I will.”

“No, you can’t. I’d bleed out.” Theon shook his head again and started sobbing. “How could… could you say… how-”

“How can **you** fucking look me in the eyes and say you’d rather _die_?! We agreed to try the most aggressive treatment, _Reek_. What was the other option?”

Reek couldn’t answer him. He kept trying to beg.

“You’re not allowed to leave me. Now sign the papers. Be a good boy for Master and I’ll give you a nice night tonight. Ok, sweetie?”

“I can’t. Oh god, please,” Reek gasped, buried under his arms on the cold desk. It still smelled like a hospital no matter how friendly they tried to make the office look. They both hated it. "They want to take _everything_. I can't."

“Hey! Good news. I know we could use some. I. Found. Asha!”

Reek slowly raised his head.

“That’s right. See? Damon even took a photo for me. So… I got that family history your doctors wanted.” Reek stared at Theon’s sister then slowly looked at Ramsay who handed him the pen.

 

“It will be ok, puppy.”

Theon was silent, staring at his feet.

“Where do you want to go?”

Theon sniffed and shrugged.

“I have the week off. We should go to the beach.”

Theon rubbed his red eyes then glanced over. “Really?”

“Yeah. We’ll take some pictures.”

“Of… the beach?” Theon laughed. He didn’t know why. It was so horrible.

“Well…” Ramsay laughed too. “Yeah, of everything. Baby," he squeezed Theon's thigh, "you’re going to be _so fucking beautiful.”_

“Don’t. Ugh,” he rolled down his window and dropped his head out, clutching the car door.

 

***

 

Theon jumped when their doorbell rang.

“What the fuck?” Ramsay picked up the remote and changed the input to view the security cameras. “Aw, shit. Fantastic. Just relax, puppy. Stay.” He shut the bedroom door behind him.

 

“Hello, father. We’re actually leaving so-”

“When did you plan on telling me?” Roose pushed past Ramsay and went inside.

“Yes. Fine. Come in, please.” Ramsay slammed the front door.

“He told Walda. She’s been crying for days. That’s how I had to find out, Ramsay? I told you to take better care of him.” Roose walked around, surveying everything. It made Ramsay’s skin crawl. “You should have taken him years ago.”

“Oh? Thank you, Father! That solves everything! I’ll just use your time machine and go back and redress that oversight, which only _you_ are capable of seeing. So where is it?”

Roose rolled his eyes.

“Where is your time machine?”

“Enough.”

“I’m sure you must have brought one for me, or what would the point of that suggestion be? Why the _fuck_ would you say that to me if you didn't have a motherfucking time machine? Some fun trivia? A little joke for me to laugh at?”

“Ramsay, calm yourself.”

“I bet you have a great idea for Reek too!”

“Must you insist on calling him that?”

“Have you tried telling Reek to  _not_  have cancer? I don’t think he’s considered it.”

“What stage is he in?”

Ramsay brushed off the question and went to pour himself a drink.

“You have no legal rights over him. You’ll need to.”

“He does what I say.”

“But will the hospital? Will the state?”

Ramsay’s hand hung in the air in front of the liquor cabinet. He couldn’t remember what it was doing there.

Father closed the cabinet door. “You said you were just leaving. I assume that means driving.”

“Why do you care?”

“You should marry him.”

Ramsay looked into his father’s eyes, searching them cautiously. “Really? Would you come?”

Roose top lip curled almost imperceptibly. “You wouldn’t need to have a ceremony. You should marry, get power of attorney if you haven't then you should both update your wills as soon as possible.”

“Ha,” Ramsay turned away to lick his lips and swallow the pressure building in his throat. “We _both_ should?” He grabbed the kitchen counter with unsteady hands.

“You know he has a substantial inheritance coming when his mother passes. Why shouldn’t it go to you? You’ve taken care of him all these years.” Roose said softly in his best attempt at a ‘there, there’ intonation. “You certainly can’t expect to adopt now with things as they are. You should update your will accordingly.”

“I see." Ramsay slowly turned to face him. "You’re right. And you know I won’t last long after he goes, right?”

Roose’s face crinkled a pinch around his eyes and above his nose. “What?”

“So I just leave all that Harlaw money to… who? My little half-brother? He’s done as much with his life in the last decade as Domeric has.”

Roose raised an eyebrow. “Royce is set to graduate Magna Cum Laude, I don’t think that warrants your morbid little joke.”

“If he ever does graduate! He’s changed his major five times! And then what will he do? Take a nominal position with your fucking company and beat his prick all day until he has to make a fucking 'appearance'. I’ll meet with your lawyers. You’ll get your all the money,” Ramsay jabbed his chest, pointing to himself, “that _I_ made with the hostile takeovers _I_ negotiated, from all the restructuring _I_ did, the junk bonds _I_ repackaged and sold, the lobbying _I_ did to keep our allies in power, the smearing _I_ did to take our enemies out, the problems, the _people_ that _I_ made disappear! REEK IS MINE! His money is MINE because he is MINE! He's all I fucking have! But, yes! Fuck it! Give the goddamned money to Royce when we’re dead!”

“Ramsay-”

“GET OUT! Get out of MY house! Get off of MY property! I said you’ll GET YOUR FUCKING MONEY!”

Roose smoothly avoided an empty wine bottle Ramsay threw at his head. “We’ll talk when you calm down,” he said in a low voice. He hung around, almost looking unsure of something, while Ramsay tore his kitchen apart.

 

Ramsay sat on the tile after he finally he came to. He had to remember the service he called last time, they were quick and discreet. He’d kept the card in one of the drawers he’d torn out and smashed into the wall. “Shit.”

“Ramsay?”

“Puppy.” He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair to fix it then smoothed his shirt. “I told you to stay.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Reek hung in the dining room.

“Don’t come in here. Did I scare you? Don’t cry, baby. It’s ok."

“Ramsay,” Reek pressed into him and rubbed his face against Ramsay’s chest. He made everything feel more solid, and Ramsay bigger and stronger than he was. “When my mom started getting sick I tried to take care of her for awhile. I’d smile and bullshit with her, trying to be strong and happy, then I’d fall apart alone afterwards.” He looked up at Ramsay with the stunning bright green eyes crying always gave him. “Don’t do that to me. Please? I want to hold you. I need to comfort you, please. Please don’t… don’t leave me.”

Ramsay nodded. “Yeah right. That’s what this fucking stunt is, huh?” He sniffed and smiled. “Get cancer so I’ll leave you alone? That’s your escape plan?”

Reek grinned. “No.”

“Shut up. Let’s go already. I have an idea for our trip.”


	4. The Privilege is Mine

“Reek.”

Theon felt Ramsay patting his thigh and stretched. “I’m awake. Are we here?” He rubbed his eyes and squinted, looking out the window. “What… what is this?” They were parked in front of a beige, square office building that looked more like the DMV than the beach.

“Give me your hand.” Ramsay’s cool, sharp eyes were dancing. “Your left hand. Hurry up.” Theon obliged nervously and Ramsay put a silver ring on his finger. “I decided to let you marry me. Congratulations.”

“What?” A grin slowly rose, brightening Theon’s face. “That’s not how you do it!” he laughed.

“You’re welcome.” Ramsay put one on his own ring finger then leaned over to pull a ziplock bag of papers out of his glove compartment. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah. Yes. I do, I will.” Theon grinned and jumped out to run around the hood of the car.

Ramsay grabbed his shoulders to stop him. “I didn’t _ask_. I _told_ you.”

Theon threw his arms up. “Yes!”

“I’m not asking!”

Theon laughed and fought Ramsay, trying to kiss him.

“Get off me, stupid.” Ramsay smirked and rolled his Reek around, pushing him into the side of the car. “Calm down.” He pressed into Reek and kissed him deeply. “More papers to sign. They’ll mail us the certificate. You’re taking my name, obviously.”

“Ok! I will.”

Ramsay pressed his forehead to his Reek’s and kept him trapped against the car for awhile longer. “I’m not asking.”

 

It was cool and overcast at the beach, the way they both liked it. Ramsay made fun of everyone, leaning in to whisper in Reek’s ear and squeezing him closer. They walked along the boardwalk and ate some terrible delicious food. Ramsay won three games and overturned a table when he lost one.

They didn’t try any games after that but the lights shimmered beautifully on the black ocean water and it was so nice being together at the top of the Ferris Wheel. Theon fell asleep smelling the salty air, feeling Ramsay’s warmth around him, and listening to the waves promise him something eternal.

 

Two days later, Theon was supposed to be changing into a very large paper napkin. He kept looking at himself in the mirror. He didn’t want to lose his hair, more weight, and…

The head surgeon had pointed to a white and grey mass below his bladder, as though it could actually explain anything. “It looks like it’s metastasized to the proximal urethra, seminal vesicles here and here, and part of the bladder here.” He said they’d know more when they ‘got in there’ like it was a house he was inspecting.

Theon snorted and rubbed his face with both hands. He growled out a suppressed scream then opened his eyes and smiled at his reflection.

 

“Mr. Bolton?”

Ramsay dropped the straw he was chewing. “What? Is he under? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I was looking for Theon.” The nurse lifted a paper on her clipboard and re-read the chart. “He was supposed to be getting prepped-”

“God damn it. Hold on, hold on! He always gets lost.”

 

Theon got off at the first floor and looked around trying to figure out where the lobby was from here. Which way did they come in?

“HEY!”

 _Fuck._ Theon grinned, in spite of himself, and started running.

Somehow he made his way out of the hospital and into the parking lot. His lower back and pelvis started screaming at him with every heartbeat, and his energy was already fading, but it was glorious. He was flying.

Then he hit the ground.

Luckily, Ramsay was able to tackle Reek into some grass. He turned him onto his back and shook him by the collar of his brand new shirt. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Reek shook his head and cowered, laughing his ass off.

“It’s not fucking funny!”

“Did you see me?”

“It’s not FUCKING FUNNY!”

“It was amazing.”

“Oh?”

“Yes!"

“ _Really_?”

 

“There you- oh my!” The attending RN took a step back when she saw Theon’s face.

He was still smiling. “I panicked and ran. Then I,” he giggled and grunted when Ramsay elbowed him, “fell down some stairs.” He covered his mouth and shook his head, crying from trying not to laugh.

Ramsay shoved Theon toward her. “Please take him away now.”

When the RN took Theon back to the room where he was supposed to change, she asked if he wanted to call the police. That was pretty funny too.

“I just fell down some stairs.” He grinned and must have looked a little cute doing it because she smiled back. “I’m dying. They’re going to cut me open and remove pieces of me." _Call the police._ He smirked."Ask them to fix my nose while I’m out.”

 

The first time Theon woke, he thought he was dead. He wasn’t scared but he was lost. He wanted Ramsay. He blacked out.

The second time he woke up, he vomited and a high pitched beeping alarm went off. A handsome nurse wiped his forehead.

The third time he was being moved from one bed to another. He remembered that he was in a hospital. He saw a really handsome man he knew with stunning grey eyes.

The fourth time Theon woke, he remembered the man and his name was dancing on the tip of Theon’s tongue. He knew he hurt somewhere below his belly button, but it didn’t matter very much. He still felt sick, but he was too dry and hollow to vomit his stomach into feeling better. “I remember I saw you and I didn’t know you but I hoped you were mine.”

Ramsay smiled and kissed his crooked nose. “Hey, puppy. You did well.”

“What did they take?”

“Everything.”

If his stomach was already churning, it would have dropped. “What?”

“Even your legs.”

“Holy shit.”

Ramsay grinned and stroked his matted hair.

“That is not fucking funny.”

“Baby,” Ramsay pulled his chair closer to Reek’s bedside, “they biopsied your liver and some other shit… I barely remember anything they said, but they looked at the lymph node biopsy while you were under and it looks _good_ , puppy. Once you heal a little you can start hormones and chemo. You have a real chance now, ok?”

“But what did they take? Why am I tied up?”

“You kept trying to pull your bags out. They didn’t take it all. _I fucking love it._ Hey, they were able to leave those nerves. Listen to me, you’re going to get better, do you understand me?”

Theon tried to swallow and nodded. “I know I should tell you to go home and rest-”

“Why? You want me to smack you around some more? There’s a couch… bench. I’m not a pussy like you, don’t worry about me.”

Theon smiled and let his eyes close. “I love you, Ramsay.”

Ramsay kissed his forehead. “Drink some water, Reek.”

“But how do I-” _Oh yeah, into the bag._

 

After three days Theon was allowed to shower.

“I’m scared to see.”

“You don’t have to look.” Ramsay lifted the thin hospital sheets and the blanket he brought his boy. “Baby, I fucking _love_ it. That’s all you have to worry about. Just look at me.” He dropped the sheets and blankets when the door opened. He rubbed Theon’s leg. “I’ll kiss it all better.” Ramsay winked when the nurses aid came in and rolled back the curtain to start taking vitals.

Theon just lay there stunned while she asked questions Ramsay was kind enough to answer. It should be the worst day of his life. How the fuck was this selfish, sadistic, man-child making him feel like everything was ok?

When he could urinate on his own, he was discharged and completely bag free. Sometimes catheters were necessary. Ramsay saw this as an opportunity to limit Reek to the bed for days.

 

Ramsay really did love it and he didn’t stop loving it after it healed. He smacked Theon for calling it Frankenweenie. It was so much shorter and he couldn’t get fully erect anymore but they found fairly quickly he could still have orgasms. There was just less mess to clean up.

 

“First round is almost over,” the technician said cheerfully. Ramsay frowned as she adjusted the drip.

“I think the chemo won this round,” Theon tried to joke.

Ramsay tilted his head. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Comfortable?”

Theon nodded and reclined in his chair.

As soon as she left Ramsay had a mini explosion. “What the fuck was that?”

“What?”

“You’re fucking flirting!”

“Ramsay. _Ramsay_ , fucking look at me! I’m bald. I’m a skeleton. I can’t even get it up, I throw up and pass out all day. What are you worrying about? Don’t you have to go to work?”

“Oh, why? So you can fuck her?!”

“You’re crazy!” Theon sank into his chair.

“You can use your mouth, like I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you do. This whole fucking mess is just a scheme to get you to finally blow me and it was all worth it.” Theon’s dry lips formed an exhausted smile.

“Hmm. Well, I’m not going anywhere. Let’s watch a movie on my laptop.”

“Comedy? Please? I’ll share my weed.”

“Fuck yes, you will. How about American Psycho?”

Theon smirked and closed his eyes. “That’s not a comedy. You’re so crazy.” Like anyone would _want_ to touch him. But Ramsay did, and he still looked at Theon like a precious treasure he had to hide away. It was insane. “Would you sit next to me so I can lay my head on you?”

“You’re fucking milking this cancer thing, you know that?”

“I’ll watch whatever you want to.”

 

Early one morning Ramsay called from his office to schedule Reek’s next session. The receptionist had him hold for almost five minutes then someone else came on the line and told him Reek’s ‘team’ had cancelled his chemo.

“I don’t understand. Why?”

“They’ll be calling you to meet about a test result.”

Ramsay hung up. He sat and looked out his high-rise window for awhile. The sky was orange, red and pink.

He went to see Reek’s oncologist alone.

 

“But... he never drinks. I don’t let him.”

“It metastasized.”

“What do we do now?”

"There's a hospice-"

"What will they do?"

"Make him comfortable for as long they can."

Ramsay's anger wasn't there to protect him this time. He just sat thinking while the doctor talked. "Theon is in a lot of pain," he interrupted. "What can you about that today?"

 

Ramsay stopped at the bank and then the pharmacy, then his other bank, and then the safe in his storage unit, before he went home.

 

“Hey, puppy. Wake up. You didn’t eat your lunch baby?”

He rolled over and smiled softly. “I'm sorry. I fell asleep again.”

“It’s alright. Here're your new meds.”

“Is this the third round? It’s just pills this time?” Reek slowly sat up and opened his mouth obediently.

“That’s right. Do you want tea or a cookie?”

“Tea, please. I’m sorry I was sleeping.”

“Shut up.” Ramsay kissed his bald head. “After your meds, I’ll take you for a drive, ok?”

“Thank you.” Reek smiled for him. He was still so fucking beautiful.

 

“How do you feel, puppy?”

“Good. Really good.” He wrapped his emaciated arms around Ramsay’s neck and sighed onto his shoulder.

Ramsay nuzzled his cheek into Reek soft skin. “Good boy. Are you happy?”

“Mmmhmm. I love you, Master.”

“I love you too, Reek.”

 

“This lollipop tastes weird.”

“It’s the chemicals, baby.”

It felt like he was in Ramsay’s lap, but they were driving… or maybe the car was flying. Everything was warm, light and rich with love. “This is my favorite thing. Just being alone with you.”

“Me too, puppy. Are you getting sleepy?”

“Yeah,” Theon exhaled. “It’s so nice. It should always be like this." He opened an eye then let it close and heard himself ask. “Are we going to see Walda?”

“To Father’s, yes. I just have to give him something I promised.”

“You made it good. I don’t know how. You’re amazing.”

Ramsay swallowed hard and glanced down. He bit his tongue for a moment then said smoothly, “Made what good, sweetheart?”

‘Everything. Even dying. I’m so lucky.” Reek’s breathing was slowing already.

“I love you. I’m lucky too. You have no idea, you idiot. You never knew…”

 

If Reek was still breathing by the time Ramsay punched in the code to open Father’s gate, it was too shallow for him to feel. He was warm, though and looked more angelic than he ever had. Ramsay smiled. It was such a long, winding driveway, so pompous, so perfect.

He released the trunk just before he hit the house. Thousands of bills flew through the air like confetti. Let Royce pick every unsinged dollar from the crime scene before the police arrived. That would be really funny. Ramsay died laughing.


End file.
